Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We named our party play list daddy issues
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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