I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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