Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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