I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
