i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
