I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
