There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
