Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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