Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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