i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
