I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
