i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
