I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
