i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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