Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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