Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I think I just sharted jello shots
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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