i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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