he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
