11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
