its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
