Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
