That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
