shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
