Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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