By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
