The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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