She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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