omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
