I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
