My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
