The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
