hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
