Pappa wants mamma naked
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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