i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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