Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
