Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
