Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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