I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I cut my penus on the lid.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
