now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
