question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
