you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
