Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
