This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
