His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize