Umm I'm too high to move.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
