the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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