i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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