If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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