it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
