He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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