I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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