in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
