i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
