I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
