i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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