I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
