So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
