HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
