you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
