He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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