You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
