True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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