Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
