True but thats because hes a fetus.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize