So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
