I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
