Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
