I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
