Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
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