mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
where are you?
Hypothermia
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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