then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm at about main and main street
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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