I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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