i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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