bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
